考研英语作文练习求修改

修罗界之式神 · 发表于 2014-12-22 15:54

As is subtly reavealved in the picture,there are many people sitting on the same table for dinner who are using their mobile phones to do kinds of things,involves calling,texting,playing gsmes and so forth.求修改，我不知道对不对

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修罗界之式神 · 发表于 2014-12-22 15:59

Spending too much time on mobiles not only results in the loss of face-to-face comunication skills but also does harm to our health since we watch the mobile without blinking the eyes and have less time to do ecetcise.

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修罗界之式神 · 发表于 2014-12-22 15:59

修罗界之式神发表于 2014-12-22 15:59
Spending too much time on mobiles not only results in the loss of face-to-face comunication skills b ...

是exercise.

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修罗界之式神 · 发表于 2014-12-22 16:12

为什么没人

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呐啥 · 发表于 2014-12-22 16:34

如果非要用你的句式表达，第一段把who的从句提到people后，然后用逗号隔开，不然总觉得who不是紧跟修饰people。个人拙见。如果是我根据你的意思会这样写“a structure like a web is made up of the same table in which a host of folks，who using their mobile telephones to do kind of things on which is employed to represent to distance themselves with families。”意思就是，一个类比为网状的结构由这张共同的桌子所构成，在这张桌子上有很多人，使用着他们的移动电话做他们自己的事，这些事意味着他们正与他们的家人渐行渐远。

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