考研写模版能得几分？

luojun860609

As is shown in the picture, two disabled people abandon their stings (sting的意思是“刺，蜇，叮”用词错误，修改为sticks), helping each other, running to their common destination quickly (句式调整为and run to their common destination quickly with helping each other). The caption at the bottom states that they will travel from north to south with their combined legs.
Apparently, the purpose of this picture is to emphasize the importance of cooperation. Owing to the quick pace of life, competition goes increasingly fierce in all walks of life, stimulating everyone to be united to pursue their goals. The past few years have proved that cooperation is the key to victory. A case in point are (主谓一致is) the world famous star hurdler Liu Xiang, and his teacher (用coach更合适) Sun Haiping, (融和句错误，需另起一句) they work together and win lots of champions.
Personal experience leads me to conclude that the power of group is bigger than that of individual. As the saying goes, two heads are better than one. Although we will encounter no fewer difficulties as we stride ahead. But we are confident in our cooperation to overcome them and arrive at our set goal triumphantly.

评析：
本文对图画寓意的理解是正确的，段落结构比较清晰，语言表达通顺，句式上有一定的变化，个别长句不自然，用词基本准确。
这篇作文比之前有进步，望继续努力！
评分：11分

hyhqqqq

无语了[em:15] 有这么严吗？

我作文好差的啊。。。

xiaoch1222

恭喜楼主增加了2分~

luojun860609

谢谢，后天就考试了，加油。

龙马担乾坤

用模板的最高境界是看不出用了模板,别照抄
IELTS和考研的道理我觉得是相同的

summery0727

反正肯定能拿一半的分，去年我用的模版后面翻译加作文总分23分，翻译还行，估计能拿个7分的样子吧

luojun860609

What thought- provoking a picture it is! (改为What a thought-provoking picture it is!或者How thought-provoking a picture it is!) As is vividly shown in the picture, a computer’s monitor is presenting a scene: it seems a person who are (主谓一致is) plunging into the sea and leaves a struggling hand alone. (句子调整为：On the computer’s monitor is presented a person who is plunging into the web sea, only leaving a hand struggling for help. )
长句写作分析：
1.“As is vividly shown in the picture”，“a computer’s monitor is presenting a scene”和“it seems”一句话中重复用了show,present,seem这样的词，使读者看了半天也没看到实质性的内容，语言表达不自然。
2. “and leaves a struggling hand alone”此处句子结构改为现在分词形式做状语更合适。

Obviously, the purpose of this drawing is to show us that due attention has to be paid to the Internet addiction, and the symbolic meanings subtly conveyed should be taken more seriously. Owing to the fast development of technology, Internet is prevalent among the youth nowadays. It goes without saying that Internet bring (主谓一致brings) us a convenient and efficient way to the world of knowledge. However, the importance is that, especially the youths do not use Internet in a proper way and spend a lot of time on playing games, surfing violent pages, or something could be harm to them.

In my opinion, internet is a double-edged sword which can deeply influence the growth of young people. If we simply use Internet for entertainment, even addict themselves (人称不一致ourselves) to it, the obsession will certainly waste us a great deal of money or time, endangering the efficiency of our studies (建议调整为and endanger the efficiency of our studies). On the contrary, we will lead a positive and fruitful life if we endeavor to improve ourselves by using Internet in a right way. Therefore, the latter attitude should be adopted to direct our way of life.

评析：
本文对图画的理解是正确的，并清楚地阐释了图画的内涵，文章段落结构清晰，语言表达基本流畅，句式上有变化。作者最近取得了明显的进步，但是要想获得更高的分数，仅仅靠改写模板句型是无法实现的，需要更多的自己写出的精彩的句子。考研近在咫尺，写作水平无法在一两日突破，作者需要做的就是保持现有水平，并且细致认真一些，减少基础语法错误，相信发挥这样水平的你会得到不错的分数。
评分：12分

joremo

不会的 我去年按照模板后来估分 有12 13分的样子 因为我估下来作文差不多20分 而我的小作文离题了后来把卷面画的花花的 不可能超过7分 所以大作文应该有12 13分  不过我不觉得我写的离题

zengdebei

去年我犹豫了很久是用摸板还是不用，最后没用，最后得了24分，和我考同一个学校的用的摸板只得了15分。

filmmaster

我去年用的摸版   小作文6分
大作文 13 分   

真正改卷的时候不会那么严格的    关键是 书写   和  主题不要错


放心吧