【作文随手写，老师来评分】英语二

小黑Phoebe

The above table shows that some aspects about financial sources of college students in American and Chinese.The money from parents plays the most important role in all students’ life.But the proportion vary from 50 percent for American students to 90 for Chinese students.And American students’ money is 35 percent consisted of part time job salary which only takes 5 percent in China.And the rest part -the scholarship-takes 15 percent in American and 5 percent in Chinese.
In terms of the way to keep living as a college students,the fellows in two countries show significant differences.It’s obvious that the Chinese students are tend to depend on their parents mostly while the American youths are more independent and responsible for their own life.
Though the causes for the differences may be complexed,there are two main factors which possibly can account for it.In the one hand,the different culture backgrounds plays an crucial role.In the other hand,the size of an American family is usually bigger than Chinese which means the heavy burden in American leads the students to pay by themselves.
But we have to accept that the American students’ attitude towards life is more helpful for youths to grow up and it’s time for us to change.

来自Android客户端

方会岩

分数：9分
复习建议：结构合理，内容比较充实，但语言不够精准，第一段表达意思不清晰，语法错误较多，希望你再去改写一下，让语言更准确，相信在考场上你会取得更好的成绩！

小黑Phoebe

方会岩 发表于 2014-10-27 18:10
分数：9分
复习建议：结构合理，内容比较充实，但语言不够精准，第一段表达意思不清晰，语法错误较多，希望 ...

谢谢老师百忙之中给评析

来自Android客户端