【大家写作文系列一】漫画作文——(温室效应) 没有寒假（不必写整篇，一句也ok）

ikissu00

5楼英语强大，对于提高作文水平很有帮助。。。。。。

christmaz

The cartoon illustrates a little boy sitting on doorsteps ion a winter morning.  He is puzzled by the lack of the atmosphere of winter holidays.He remembers that he was used to playing snow with little friends in winter-time.But ,unfortunately,this winter is much more of warmth (warmer)than before.It's even no snow.

无语了.再想想,有几个问题想请教大家：
He is puzzled...一句这么说行吗？
more of + n 用在warm上是不是太生硬了，我也是知道有这个形式，就硬用上了，和warmer那个好？
我现在的问题是，具体的名词，动词积累不够。很郁闷，以前光注意抽象的了，什么“暂时”“永恒”“直线上升”“急剧下降”之类的都会说，“打雪仗”“堆雪人”我还真说不准。
当然可以绕过去，但若用上准确描述，肯定效果不错。比如“终点是新起点”那篇，有人用了“dash”这个词就比“rush”好嘛，07年要用些足球术语，看着也比较顺。

ikissu00

我从大量文章上，个人总结出来的模板，只需要很少的个人述说，欢迎大家讨论，但是别完全照抄啊。毕竟这是我总结来考试的，给我留条活路。。。。。。

语法上有不少错误，大家共同讨论学习。水平较次，但很适合突击作文的兄弟们

The drawing above vividly depicts the weather of the Winter like the Summer which is hot every day.As is shown in the cartoon, a boy sit on the floor  is thinking about make snowman with his friend in this winter vacation,but the weather is warm.


To begin with,  the purpose of the drawing is to show us that our world is more warm than before, yet the symbolic meanings subtly conveyed should be taken more seriously. The warm weather is naturally associated with “greenhouse effect”. Accordingly, it is vital for us to derive positive implications from these thought-provoking drawing. On the one hand ,we can frequently use it to enlighten the people to protecting the environment. On the pther hand,  the country all over the world should establish more effective a series of laws to protect the environment.

Only in this way, the day in the cartoon will not come true. I believe that a happy and bright future is awaiting us if we make every effort to protect our earth.

[ 本帖最后由 土纸 于 2008-1-15 10:25 编辑 ]

kivcare

(好久没写过作文了，写了40多分钟，赞一下土纸的这个活动）

        When is comes to the winter holiday prospect ，many northern people may firstly link it to a world full of snow .However，things   have been changed！As we can see from the picture. Encountered with the dry some and warm winter days, a boy sit on the stone step     lonely , with the sun shinning in the sky and a gloomy look on his face. The past snow world of  winter in which they heaped snowman and played snow battle and did many other stirring things with the snow , can exist now only in the memory rather than become a reality again
        It goes with little doubt that Greenhouse Effect contributes the most to the recent changed winter weather conditions. This changes can be felt by almost anybody, as rain replace snow and warm replace cold. People have to get accustomed to the warmer winter,        although they hate this due to the lost happiness only belong to the cold days. While Complaint make no sense, what we need most,  according  to me ,is not submissive tolerance but fight against it
       Fortunately, our government has released many policies to hold back the Greenhouse Effect. But a good policy is one thing,its thorough implement is quite a another. To achieve our goal, it’s essential for everybody join in and take action to limit the potential Greenhouse Gas emissions, such as reducing energy use and abstain waste, selecting buses as travel vehicle instead of small cars and so forth. Indeed, it’s a common responsibility for us to take for better living.

[ 本帖最后由 土纸 于 2008-1-15 10:24 编辑 ]

土纸

大家即是考生，也是评委，这里没有高低，只有平等地交流

大家评判别人作文的同时，也给自己一个学习的机会～

祝各位08考好～


帮一位网友问的，
之前在这里下了<作文10天10题>，后来发现有几篇只有图,没有文章...
现在特别想要看看 环境(温室效应) 的范文, 不知哪位热心人有啊??  或者相关主题的发我看看啊.....   万分感谢.
实在没办法，只好麻烦你了。我觉的这里面的范文不错，可惜环境那篇文章没有了，只有图,拜托帮我找找，有没有类似的文章啊...当然最好是这本书的完整版本, 万分感谢你啊...太急了。..
土纸：大家可以尝试着写一些这个题目，都跟贴回复，交流一些好的句子和好的写作方法
土纸给各位出个题目，

题目主题内容，温室效应——环境
如下漫画
要求
1，描述图片内容
2，表达您对该问题的看法

您可以写一段，可以写开头，可以写结尾，当然也可以写您最精彩的几句话，只要是用英语写这篇作文，无论几句话，都是一种锻炼和交流。

本帖不限字数，不限句数，一句也行，10句更好。总之，一句值10威望，多写多得

20分

～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～～·
【一起写作文二】大家一起写一篇英语作文——教育——给学生（有奖励）
http://bbs.kaoyan.com/viewthread ... e%3D1&frombbs=1



[ 本帖最后由 土纸 于 2008-1-14 20:12 编辑 ]

zyf0413

顶！我也要。那个高手立马写一篇上来也行

fwgxy

楼上的小伙很牛!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kivcare

赞 版主
除了开头的is，是写错了，应该是it
其它的修改意见我一一看完了，改得很好

土纸

【大家写作文系列一】漫画作文——(温室效应) 没有寒假（不必写整篇，一句也ok）
http://bbs.kaoyan.com/thread-2080275-1-1.html
【大家写作文系列二】漫画作文—（教育）给学生（不必写整篇，一句也ok，有奖励）
http://bbs.kaoyan.com/thread-2080282-1-1.html
【大家写作文系列三】漫画作文—（财经）投资与风险（不必写整篇，一句也ok，有奖励）
http://bbs.kaoyan.com/thread-2080358-1-1.html

土纸

原帖由 kivcare 于 2008-1-15 02:04 发表
(好久没写过作文了，写了40多分钟，赞一下土纸的这个活动）

        When is comes to the winter holiday prospect ，many northern people may firstly link it to a world full of snow .However，things ...

(好久没写过作文了，写了40多分钟，赞一下土纸的这个活动）

        When is comes to the winter holiday prospect ，many northern people may firstly link it to a world full of snow .However，things   have been changed！As we can see from the picture. Encountered with the dry some and warm winter days, a boy sit on the stone step     lonely , with the sun shinning in the sky and a gloomy look on his face. The past snow world of  winter in which they heaped snowman and played snow battle and did many other stirring things with the snow , can exist now only in the memory rather than become a reality again .
还是抛砖引玉,第一句的is,是不是不不对，应该是状语从句,但是怎么会有is和comes两个谓语动词.
第二,things have been being changed,是不是更好些
第三,and,.建议使用逗号 ,
       It goes with little doubt that Greenhouse Effect contributes the most to the recent changed winter weather conditions. This changes can be felt by almost anybody, as rain replace snow and warm replace cold. People have to get accustomed to the warmer winter,        although they hate this due to the lost happiness only belong to the cold days. While Complaint make no sense, what we need most,  according  to me ,is not submissive tolerance but fight against it

第一,一个亮点,虽然采用了一个套话,但是,主动语态和被动语态相结合的方式,还一长一短,错落有致,我觉得这是个亮点。
第二,我觉得 如果在people do have to 将会更有效果,起到强调作用.用助动词强调句子的预期.
第三,是否应该采用动词不定式,only to belong to the cold days.
第四,套句,但是连续使用两个插入语,是一种好的语法应用,一个小亮点.
第五,这个but连词,是否应该连接两个平行谓语,但是好象be动词和实意谓语动词不平行?还请大家一起想一下.

       Fortunately, our government has released many policies to hold back the Greenhouse Effect. But a good policy is one thing,its thorough implement is quite a another. To achieve our goal, it’s essential for everybody join in and take action to limit the potential Greenhouse Gas emissions, such as reducing energy use and abstain waste, selecting buses as travel vehicle instead of small cars and so forth. Indeed, it’s a common responsibility for us to take for better living.
第一,这个everybody 和join 之间少一个to
第二,对于vehcile需要复数.
总之,这个文章已经写得相当不错.
这也可以告戒一部分考生,可以采用长短句交错的写作手法和插入语的使用,比如", to the most, "或者"句子主语+, +I thinke + ,  +句子谓语之后的部分",都是一种好的亮点.